Friday, November 20, 2009


I never enjoy hunting. I even feel pain when an innocent animal is put to pain for whatever reason except for the purpose of feed. Whenever such scene happens for whatever reason including that of offering of animals as sacrifice, my heart instantly cry for mercy in seeing so and pray for replacing me instead of killing an innocent for one’s selfish gain.

My brother-in-law was fond of hunting and it was an intense hobby for him. One particular day I was at home during a break time in the College when my brother-in-law paid a sudden visit to our home and requested me to accompany him for going out in search of hunting in a nearby river’s origin or mouth called ‘Dekhowmouck’ one of prominent tributaries of the ‘Great River Brahmaputra’ in the district of Sibsagar, Assam. Sensing causing of displeasure to him, if refused I reluctantly agreed to accompany him. Next day early morning we drove to the location by his personal car and then shifted to a small boat arranged already for us to position ourselves a little distance away from the shore to see the birds in front to shot at close range.

It was half an hour before sunrise when we took the position in the boat. As soon as the Sunrise was taking place, the area was covered with white reddish light to prompt the ‘Nature’ to rise from the overnight sleep to enjoy itself. A gentle breeze covered the area with some stillness but it broke early enough when small birds started hovering all around crawling or singing along with the current of the water to make area suddenly warm. In the next moments we saw number of batches of white swans passing one by one over us to sit a little away from us whom my brother-in-law did not intend to kill being a difficult task to locate the kill once shot down. A little later we found another batch of wild swans landed in front of us in the usual style of landing perfectly matching with the order one after another to crowd the place with none but them only.

The scene was so beautiful I suddenly fell in love with the ‘Nature’ bringing myself out from my doing of continuous prayer inside to outside to see nothing other than the beauty of the Nature and instantly became a part of them to enjoy myself together. The swans were crawling and dancing in front of us while picking and swallowing their food from underwater and replacing the position batch by batch by others every fifteen minutes or so, unmindful of the noise produced by the repeated firing from the barrel of the gun used by my brother-in-law nonetheless the ones sitting nearby us were flown away disturbed by the vibration created by the repeated gun shots.

My brother-in-law still kept firing the birds fruitlessly for almost an hour until his entire stock of cart-ages got exhausted leaving just one without killing a single bird. He then shouted the dealer who supplied the cartage for providing him flake cart-ages charging a very high cost being the cart-ages were of much higher quality than the ordinary ones.

Ultimately most dejected by action happened, he decided to return home leaving a single cartage with him to challenge the dealer for giving him flake cart-ages in the name of highly effective ones or of much better quality at a much higher cost. I just kept hearing his shouting against the arm dealer but preferred to not to speak on the subject being knew the reason of his repeated failures. He kept telling me that he was never that unsuccessful in killing birds under such or similar circumstances and repented that his entire name as an excellent shooter shall now go waste.

Feeling pity on his remorse, I remarked that he should try his last cartage if it can kill a bird by any chance still flying high above which he immediately rejected as it is next to impossible to kill any stationing one from such a distance.

Admitting the impossibility of the situation, he regretted his failure and commented that with what honor he shall face my mother who must have prepared everything for cooking birds based purely on his assurances of bringing at least one if not many to home. I however insisted that he must try once with or without an aim for the last time with the last cartage; well knowing of the difference in the situation between now and then when we were sitting in the boat in front of the birds to see if it by any chance it hit a bird flying high in the sky. On my repeated insistence, he aimlessly fired his last shot from his two barrel gun in disgust while we kept walking to return to the parked car nearby but suddenly we found a dead bird dropped from the sky in front of us which was nothing but a miracle happened in response to my prayer inside to avert the unpleasant situation of facing my mother empty handed by him. That was the first and last time I went out for hunting with anyone.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

‘My Doing of First Successful Home Business’

On August 30th, 2009 (22:39 Hrs.); I had received an E-mail from an unknown source as a junk mail or as a spam which I opened next day i.e. August 31, 2009 out of curiosity to see the content just prior to deleting the mails so received which directed me to follow a link to earn ‘on-line’ as well as ‘off-line’ addressing me with a very polite language, words of which were most beautifully structured to force me automatically click the link to see an opportunity of extra income of UD$ 500.00 putting @5 Hrs of effort in a week and which in-fact beginning of stating my association with ‘SFI & TRIPPLECLICKS’ on August,31st ,2009 . The link took me to the following Site of ‘SFI’ prompting me ‘Don’t wait. Become an SFI affiliate TODAY and start securing your share of our Coming Global Growth’ when I became a member of SFI at the gateway of ‘TRIPPLECLICKS’ by signing-in which was provided at the Page to earn commission whatever amount possible just by filling-in the form available in the Site to receive or get an immediate as well as quick follow-up actions in response to my all queries sought which ultimately prompted me to enter into an agreement of doing of an honest Business of value with SFI.

That was the beginning of my New service Career which I can possibly call it as my first job ever in my life time in deriving of a satisfaction of engagement irrespective of the outcome of it being the first job was made undone by the concerned Authority reasonless to leave me high and dry after proving myself as rare of rarest corrupt ever born to this Earth through pronouncement of repeated convictions one after another through holding of inquiries by high officials brought from outside the Company, having not content with the first conviction with support from entire outside which forced me to lose my entire identity including that of my limited friend circle to doubt doing of much good in the Business chosen as my first career in my late life being its success like all other Businesses mostly depend upon Publicity and persuasions for expanding it apart from the Brand Name one carry. (My Link to same Site)

During 1998, a Company in the name and style of ‘SFI’ took shape under the noble Leadership of Mr. Gery Carson, a young Business Person and Entrepreneur bifurcating it from its parent Company ‘Carson Services, Inc’ to utilize the Internet to empower and enrich the lives of millions of people around the world. Today, with over 8,000 new affiliates joining weekly, SFI is one of the fastest growing companies of its kind in the world and is expanding every day. The ‘TRIPPLECLICKS’ is born out of ‘SFI’ as a separate division on January, 5th, 2009 to handle its ever growing Business to keep its Reputation intact.

With nothing in hand financially even to bear even the cost of consultation fee of the Doctor to review my current heath condition following the suffering from ailment of the rapture of my Ulcer with intestine which broke or torn-off almost into two pieces but miraculously recovered after 2 days of continuous bleeding just confining myself to home without seeking the attention of any Doctor, I felt suddenly relieved on seeing the response of the Company to look after the requirement of each and every Customer in the best possible way without me even requiring to spend of a single penny from my pocket towards establishing myself within the Company securing the status of ‘Executive Affiliate’ just by putting my sincere effort and dedication to deliver the best most faithfully to the Company.

With just less than a fortnight of association with them; my attachment towards the Company is growing manifold on each and every passing day which possibly shall never ever break unless compulsion is forced upon me for whatever reason irrespective of amount of commission I earn being LOVE expressed in their approach to hold me tight. Since all Businesses take time to become fruitful, I am still struggling to establish myself somehow with us running living our lives with borrowed fund.

Accordingly I pray the World with folded hands not to attack me in any form or matter to earn my living somehow to live-on most ordinarily.


When I was posted at GVP, Noida Office as Chief Manager, UP, India, we three, our son ,our second daughter and myself were staying together in our Residential complex with my wife staying along with my elder daughter at Bangalore to help her pursuing her education while pursuing course of MCA in Bangalore University. Although our son and daughter sleep separately in different rooms, one day both suddenly decided to sleep with me on particular day to give me company believing I must be feeling lonely sleeping alone. At that particular time our second daughter became a graduate from Bangalore University and visited Delhi to pursue her higher education living together with us and our son was studying in class 10th Class of Kendriya Vidyalaya at Noida, UP.

By mutual understanding of both, our daughter slept in my left and my son in my right side. I also fell asleep a little before mid-night but almost together. When I slept hardly an hour or so; I found both my son and daughter grabbing me hard attaching me together with them as if I shall run away from them while they were in sleep. Both of them tried in vain to remove each other’s hand unconsciously to take me to one side. It forced me to awake up fully with eye completely opened to the see the fight between them for a long period of time. I kept enjoying the scene with much of amusement and joy. After some time, my tears of joy automatically stated flowing from both of my eyes which drove to cry aloud in the morning time to awake both of them up. On awaking up when they asked me the reason of my crying I unable to answer immediately but did so a few days later.

Although our son has much grown up, he still sleeps with me to repeat the same incidence over and over again even we are sleeping in a double bed. One day when our Power went off and the Generator suddenly developed problem, I found him fanning me entire night with a hard board which I came to know next day morning to know of the Love he is carrying towards me. This is the nature of attachment our children are having towards me. Accordingly I expect that it shall never ever break during my life time.


Amongst all his children totaling eight I shared a different relationship with my father too, very much away from the others. I was his most adored son being intricately involved in all matters of importance to earn his name in almost every field and accordingly my sitting next to him in the Dinning Hall was always reserved for me irrespective of whether or not I was present in the house. Although he worked as a Clerk in a government Office, he later hold the coveted position of ‘Tehsilder’; post retirement and was a renowned and respectful personality in the state of Assam, India.

Unlike my other brothers, in no point of time he ever even shouted at me although I often did much graver misconducts. His love towards me was so much so that he invariably once in a day time shall wear one of my shirts to go around when I was grown up to fit my shirts to his size. Out of limitless sweet encounters, the following are still vivid in my mind; never to go away ever. He often reminded me that a light regularly visits me when I am asleep in the early morning time which he once traced coming from the temple nearby.

I was never a brilliant student and also labored the minimum either to touch or to learn my lessons both at school and College but pursued my entire Education on scholarship secured without giving slightest pain financially to my parents who were overburdened to meet the expenditure of education of Professional Courses for all of my brothers excepting the second eldest one whose monetary requirement was minimal while securing our final Engineering Degrees in different fields. But somehow by luck, whatever I select for the examination, it invariably always appears in the question papers and hence able to secure good marks. My scholarships were result of that only.

Prior to my 12th class examination, I was given a separate room to study for my final Board Examination away from my parent’s room. I was also fond of witnessing good cinemas irrespective of languages of depiction of pictures. The day before the beginning of the said examination, a new cinema was released which I decided to see anyway even if advised otherwise. However, not giving any information to my parents, I broke-off at mid night covering my bed with the bed cover with pillows underneath to look as if I was asleep in the bed to catch the second show of the cinema along with one of my friend and returned home well past mid night. As I slowly came inside the compound without making any noise, I found my father sitting outside waiting for me and sounded ‘I should have gone with my sweater on to avoid catching cold in the midst of my examination’, and he reheated the food kept by my mother for him before her going to bed to share the same together me even though I took it together with my mother after long wait outside by him. I never spelt a single word and took the food most silently together following which I took a decision of not repeating such actions in future and I am still bounded by the oath taken within. Later I came to know that my father always offer me a good night kiss even if he comes home late at night due to pre-occupation for community services as a religious head of the area and hence I was caught.

When I received my first merit scholarship in lump-sum following opting for admission in the nearest professional of engineering, I took the next bus to home and walked straight to my father taking shortest route to meet him who was at the office that time and handed over my entire scholarship money to him who taking money on his hand cried aloud to be heard by everyone in the office after immediately keeping the entire sum again in my shirt pocket and yelling ‘I never heard anyone doing this’ and asking me repeatedly to tell him who I was or to disclose my actual identity. He further murmured why I was giving him so much love which he unable to withstand and fell down fainted. As his colleagues took charge of him, I most silently retuned to my mother and then to my college and opened my second Bank account. My first Bank Account was opened by my father when I stood one out of the 10 in the primary school scholarship Examination prior to my admission to high school.

However my father’s life long wish to stay and breathe his last near me was never materialized due to my forceful absence under compulsions which was beyond my control to over ride. In spite of my most unfortunate and painful separation of association between myself and my father, my attachments with him is one of my greatest strength in my life next to my mother to give a boost in my search of absolute ‘TRUTH’


O, my dearest mother with what words I express my feelings of Love towards you, being you is the creator of everything seen or unseen, existed or none existed, moving or inert and the most beautiful part of the ‘Lord’, known as just one ‘Mother’ everywhere within the Universe as well as outside to force me to fumble with my words which shall always remain short to explain my relationship with you? Accordingly, I bow my head with deep appreciation with a longing to keep my head in your lap forever, which however couldn’t happen due to leaving for heavenly abode in my absence. Hence I offer my uncountable salutes to you for bring me up to the present level after keeping me most delicately for 9 months and 10 days exactly in your womb although your desire to see me near your bed when you breathed the last never materialized.

Your sweet murmurings of my name for about a fortnight as told to me by all others gathered near you even when unconscious although remained unfulfilled most painfully being me unable to bear the cost of travel to see you just once, I am still continue to keep yourself alive with you in my heart and shall continue for eternity. It is still vivid in my eyes when I rush towards the Hospital where you were admitted at mid night on command of the unseen during my college days breaking all rules, set forth by the college to a faraway place without anyone’s guidance or information travelling by night trucks first from college to the local Hospital at Sibsagar where you were first admitted and later from Sibsagar to Dibrugarh where you were shifted in a very critical condition early in the same day, to see you unconscious in a isolated bed of Assam Medical College but no sooner I had entered your room with none’s help about the location of the bed at very early in the morning when other patients were fast asleep, you had suddenly opened your eyes to embrace me even though Doctors had lost all hope on your survival. This was definitely miracle happened due to my intense Love being kept in my heart towards you. My seeing of you with getting any information about your ill health and position of staying in the Hospital was also a miracle although none knew about it.

Also, I still remember when you were waiting for me outside our residence with the main door opened breaking off from the half awake in the late night or very early in the morning when I had paid a sudden and a rare visit to home without information from a place more than 3000 KM away on hearing my calling your name out of Love, hardly half an hour before I reached home. Very much surprised I in-fact called your name, you gently touched me to see whether or not I was real. Further your keeping of the Pressure Cooker I just presented to you when I got my first merit scholarship during 60’s till you left for heavenly abode without allowing others to use was a ‘love’ nothing can match.

Also when you faced with a criticism from the public for not celebrating the death ceremony of my father in closed Hall instead of an arranged one in an ‘open space’ on the strength and faith that on my late arrival (being came by fastest Rajthani Express available that time in 3rd Class from Delhi to Dibrugarh, Assam after completing the journey from Jodhpur to Delhi in about 4 day’s time to reach home to miss most painfully the cremation ceremony of my father purely due to acute shortage of Fund as always I was having during my entire service career unlike others colleagues rarely use train but almost always travel by Air), the sky shall become clear up with bright sun shine available pushing away the incessant rain and strong down pours covering the area for a long time. When it happened exactly as desired by you reconfirming your belief on me, I saw nothing but a miracle happened once again which not only stunned me disbelieve but others too as well. Your keeping a special place for me to sleep next to you in the bed from my childhood until my marriage allowing none even my sisters to sleep next to you is still keeping my senses aware of yourself all the time around me only even though no more now.

This is the relationship between you and me which can never erode but shall glow to give light to others.


It was Monday afternoon time during the spring when most often my mother purchase fresh vegetables from the street hawkers who always invariable call at our home irrespective of whether or not we choose to buy any staff. The year was 1957 when I was just about 11 years old and was a student of class six studying at the Sibsagar Govt. Higher Secondary and Multipurpose School.

Unlike other days, the hawker that day carried a hardly a month old pair of white pigeon to sell. The hawker in front of our home argued to sell the same to us offering a nice discount but my mother was not convinced of the price and gently requested the hawker to break off. I however kept glancing at the pair of pigeon most intensely; completely stand still without taking away my eyes from them. I was instantly fell in love with them and was searching my pocket for any left over money I saved from the regular marketing I was doing on behalf of our family to buy our daily requirements. It was only just half of the discounted price offered to us found available in my pocket.

As the hawker proceeded to leave the compound, I kept following the hawker possibly for a half a kilometer together repeatedly requesting him to hand over the pigeons at the price I was having that time in my pocket. When I was unable to convince him, I requested him to wait for some time with the condition that he must not sell the pigeons to anyone until I return. I immediately ran for our home and requested my mother to give me the balance which she instantly agreed noticing my eagerness. Collecting the remaining sum, I purchased the pair of pigeon from the hawker who was waiting for me exactly in the same place as promised to me without offering the pigeons to anyone either to buy or to proceed to the market.

I was absolutely delighted that my mother had given me the money without rising of an objection or a single question asked on my decision to buy the pigeons. Accordingly I came back to my home with a prized possession in my hand. Once at home I repeatedly kissed the pigeons after offering them whatever grain I could able to collect from the surrounding to feed them mouthful and in the first night they slept with me in the cage provided by the hawker.

In the early morning next day, we found to our horror that our entire house was surrendered by hundreds of pigeons came from all nearby temples to settle down permanently with the one, I bought the day before. Following getting so much of company, I released the pigeons I was holding with me in the cage but they refused to go away to join the others. I accordingly made a small but strong cage for them out of a wooden box usually used to carry washing soaps in lots for distribution to vendors.

Being in the company of many, my pair of pigeon was full of joy often dancing around me sometimes sitting on my body to make my body and head dirty, but never go to sleep unless I fed something to them even if I come home late evening. My love towards them was extra special and remained so until one day I could not hear the call of the sweet crawl from both when I returned home very late in the evening possibly after six months long continuous association with them.

On making enquiries, my mother refused to divulge the truth in spite of my not taking any food. However after mid night when I continue resort to fasting and even refused to go to bed, my mother came out of bed to tell me that the bird I unable to find had died without elaborating further. When she unable to see me weeping aloud, she told me who had killed the bird but warned me not to become ‘violent’ and consoled me that the situation shall become normal shortly once another bird shall join to make the union complete once again.

However, I immediately lost my tamper, I opened the main door rushed towards the house of the boy who killed the bird and made their house dog silent with a firm kick before banging their bed room door very hard repeatedly to wake all of them up. As soon as his father opened the door, I without murmuring a single word, rush to their bed to pull their son out of sleep and from the house to outside and beaten him to unconsciousness against strictest opposition from all the family members of both the houses tried to stop me from hurting him more than a few knocks without success. Immediately after the incident I returned to still weeping which none could able to stop though tedious consolations.

I passed a sleepless night that day to make a request from the heart in the next day morning to entire pigeons settled in our premises to leave to their respective temples which they most faithfully obeyed excepting a few which we gave to others for sheltering but my single bird promptly found another mate to visit me often from the nearby temple. But I refused to accept her seeing something missing from her without the born partner or companion unavailable together and considered it as a deliberate action of her to please me.

When I one day broke off from my school early still heartbroken due to the said sad incident to take part in a football game, the boy who killed my loving dove followed me silently and was waiting inside a bush hiding and attacked me from the back after the football match was over and when I was returning home. Being attacked unnoticed; I fell down with my left hand twisted. I became immediately unconscious and my friends brought me to home carrying between their hands. On regaining consciousness, I found that my left hand broke apart to four pieces near the wrist and was hanging on the skin. Hiding the fact, I laid down on the bed with severe pain and silently weeping without informing my mother not to hurt whom I loved the most.

But my mother was sure that I was badly hurt and the wound was kept away from her and requested my elder bother to take me to the civil hospital after my father left for Office from home in the next day morning when I was admitted into the Hospital immediately. But the Doctors in- spite of heavy struggle for more than three hours in the operation theater unable to put into place the broken bonds in position and referred my case to Assam Medical College who operated my hand for putting steel plates for positioning the broken bonds and the entire hand was kept under plaster for a year; when they carried out the second operation to remove the plates. The wound is still vivid and became a part of my body although much weaker to do or perform all jobs unhindered.

As my healing took long period of time, being a brilliant student I was promoted to the next class without a rank even though I never appeared for the Annual Examination that year. However, that particular pair of dove often come into dream to play with. The boy who injured me slipped away from their home to join underground outfit and became an extortionist. When I joined my first Job after clearing many interviews and test, I was found medically unfit because of the wound. On giving an undertaking to the Organization that it shall never effect my delivery during my service career because of my weak left hand, I was offered employment conditionally, which force me to join my job a little late. However, I have never faced any problem with my hand although lowly built in view of plastering for a year during the time of growing stage. I shall keep bearing in the memory of the pain of the pigeon killed unnaturally in the ruthless hand of a cruel hunter till I die.

Remembering the scene once again, nearer the time when left the Company I worked for throughout my career, when I saw one of my colleagues taking an aim to kill a similar bird or a pair of dove playfully singing, sitting in a branch of a tree outside my Office with an Air Gun when I just murmured the name of the Lord visualizing the pain of separation No sooner I did so, he suddenly fell down slipping in a dry area and broke his leg. On standing up with the help of his friends, he accused me of cursing him; mistaking my silent pain in the heart which none heard. I was surely posing a question onto myself ‘what pleasure we are getting in drawing an imbalance into the Nature?’

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Actual Meaning of Love

An entity represented by ‘I’ from outside is govern by five senses i.e. see, touch, test, hear and smell. The sixth sense is an extra for the extraordinary. While these senses vary from person to person, the ‘LOVE’ is same for all and sits in one’s heart radiating its character automatically to the entire body combining trillions of different tiny cells living within the body to form a single entity without restoring to any violence but through harmony and peace although the functioning and living style as well as labor put-in to live in by each and every individual cell is different from one to another.

These five senses are external to make one happy or worrisome and is duplication of what each and every cell is doing inside by going through either to derive pleasure or pain continuously during their respective life cycles. Unless ‘LOVE’ is attached, these functions are absolutely meaningless so as to derive a distinction of one from the other. Accordingly the degree of pain or pleasure produced as result of a particular act varies from person to person depending upon how much one is mature. When ‘LOVE’ overtakes the senses, the entity suddenly becomes holder of a noble Character from just an ordinary one, carrying a general value.

Is love has a part to play while discharging one’s natural call? The answer is certainly yes. One must understand, see and enjoy love while meeting the nature’s call to keep the body and mind healthy like other species do to keep one’s existence. However, to add a larger sense all are alone and independent to pursue one’s life. Even though one’s members of a family are considered attached to each other, all are actually much different from each other but bounded only the love which hold them together no doubt that all carry the same DNA. We in-fact as well as all other entities that constituted the Mother Nature are connected to each other although every single entity is holding different position and value according to one’s work assignments. Accordingly when we embrace each other, the LOVE disburses everywhere to shine ourselves further.

To engage oneself in an intense sexual act is an explicit natural urge of all animals including that of human beings. While engaging in a sexual act, both sexes while doing the act, excite their respective bodies to a perceive threat within of sudden destruction of their bodies to release a miniature clone of both to create another similar through ejections of semen or egg of both to fertilise as one in the womb most joyfully and together. During the entire process of mating, the mind is governed by artificial sense of pleasure to save the spices from destruction one belongs to. Excepting mankind, all other species follow a specified rule as govern by the nature. This excitement of the body is not ‘LOVE’ but a relief obtained by suddenly burdening the body cells who demand a rest to the body following the shock undertaken during the act done with mind and thought as well as Love more or less or completely absent or largely shut-off. Hence this is a relief rather than explicit display of either LOVE or a natural requirement to maintain the body.

If the said act is a nature’s call to keep a spice alive ever though, through different bodies when one become redundant due to aging, the attraction towards each other cannot constitute LOVE but an attempt to maintain the order of the nature. The love is beyond this. A sexual act is not a must to display love. It is just an additional gesture to show nearness to each other.